


You Think You Know What You Want...

by LM84



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Dean Winchester Being an Idiot, Dean Winchester Makes Mistakes, Divorce, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Exhaustion, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Major Illness, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Married Couple, Married Life, Misunderstandings, Overprotective Gabriel (Supernatural), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Sacrifice, Sick Castiel (Supernatural), Soulmates, Stress, Weight Issues, business owner, perfect couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-05-14 09:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19270255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LM84/pseuds/LM84
Summary: Dean, with help from his newly-wed Husband Castiel, had finally got what he always dreamed of. A wonderful Husband, their own apartment and now he was the owner of Singer's Auto's.He had he dream job, the dream business... and a shedload of crippling debts.As the stress and workload start piling up on them both and long hours push them apart, can they keep their perfect relationship intact, or will the white picket fence get torn down by the oncoming storm.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Got most of this story written up already, but I am working on several fics and have a busy life, but my one motto is to never leave a story unfinished.

Dean was on cloud nine. He’d finally done it. He was the owner and manager of his own business. It was a complete turn-around from two months ago. When Bobby Singer, who ran the car dealership and garage where Dean had worked as a mechanic, decided to retire and sell up, the main candidate for the sale was a redeveloper who wanted to level it and build luxury apartments. They’d all been about to lose their jobs before Dean had a crazy idea.

“So…” Cas smiled as Dean opened the door and walked into their little apartment. Dean smiled back at his newly-wed husband. Dean wasn’t really the marrying type, but he knew deep down it had mattered to Cas. Cas never told Dean what he wanted so Dean had, had to get good at reading his partner in life. Cas was so selfless it was beyond belief he always put himself last, which could be difficult at times, but Dean had got better at noticing when his lover was neglecting himself, or holding something back.

They had been together for over 5 years when he’d proposed and three months ago they’d tied the knot, quietly, no fuss. His brother Sam had been annoyed they’d not invited guests, but Cas had disowned almost all his family and he didn’t need the reminder of what he’d run away from.

 “We are the official owners and managers of Singer’s Autos!” Dean said, waving a folder of paperwork in the air.

“You are the official owner.” Cas corrected, pulling him into a hug.

“We.” Dean said firmly. “Cas, I couldn’t have done this without you. You poured every cent you had into this, I can’t thank you enough. I swear you will get it all back.”

“Dean, what’s mine is yours. You’re my husband, you don’t owe me anything.”

Dean smiled softly. There was no point starting an argument but there was no way he wasn’t going to pay Cas back. They’d needed every penny they had for the mortgage deposit, which had come out of Cas’ considerable savings. His family had been rich after all. The issue was the repayments, it was really going to cripple them until the business got back on its feet.

“I’m sorry that Money is going to be tight for a while.” Dean purred, stroking Cas’ hair as he flicked through the documents.

“It’s fine Dean. I know how much you wanted this and if the sales figures are as good as you think they’ll be, then it won’t be for long.”

“Then we can finally buy a place.” Dean smiled and pecked him on the cheek. “Get somewhere with bigger windows.”

“And a garden?” Cas asked hopefully.

“And a Garden.” Dean smiled.

“And underfloor heating?”

Dean chuckled and “Cas, I’ll give you anything you want.”

“Oh great, I’ll go to the pet shelter and pick up a Cat, then.” Cas grabbed the keys to the Ismpala out of Dean’s hand and mockingly started to march towards the door.

“Cas!” Dean pawed him, lightly, over the back of the head.

“We need a Cat Dean!” Cas wined, in fun.

“You know what,” Dean took Cas by the shoulders. “Husband.” He breathed, emphasising the word. Jade eyes locked with bright blue orbs and Dean took a breath, savouring every inch of his partners face. “When we have enough money to buy a house, I will _think_ about letting you get a cat.”

“Really?” Cas looked at him in honest curiosity.

“If it makes you Happy Cas, then I suppose I can tolerate it. Especially when we become rich.”

Cas scoffed at Dean’s certainty of the latter, but the sentiment made his eyes burn a little with tears. Dean was not an animal person in the slightest, he acted so awkwardly around his brother Sam’s dog and it was adorable.

The buzzer went off and Cas went to turn off the oven.

“You cooked?”

“I always cook, Dean. Though it’s usually for myself since you live on take out, which you can’t do anymore by the way, it’s too expensive.”

Dean looked horrified and opened the fridge. “Why is there so little meat?” He protested. Then his voice dropped an octave. “Why is there so much veg?” finally he turned around eyes wide. “Where’s the pie!”

Cas chuckled and shook his head. “Meat is expensive, Veg is cheap and you ate the pie this morning for breakfast, which was gross by the way.”

“Pie, for breakfast is not gross, its perfect.” Dean protested. “No eating out, no pie, no bacon. If I didn’t know you loved me I would think you were trying to kill me.”

“Yeah well I’ve picked up a job for the weekends to help us manage.”

“Cas honey, you can’t work seven days a week!” Dean raised his eyebrow. Cas’ job was long hours and tough work as it was and he knew his partners affinity for completely overworking himself.

“It’s only a few hours, early morning. Besides we really need the money.”

“Babe, what difference of about what, $150 a week going to make? You don’t need to, your salary is already double mine. If anyone should be getting a second job its me.”

Cas knew the fact that he was the high earner and the one paying for Dean’s dream made his husband feel insecure. Dean was very much the stereotype of manly, it had taken him so long to admit he was Bi Cas had almost given up waiting. He would be forever grateful that he hadn’t.

“Dean, I think you’re underestimating how hard running a business is going to be. You can’t take a second job on. And now you’re the manager of a business, I expect you to be paying yourself a much bigger salary than mine.” Cas reassured. “And yes, it does make a difference. This job will be the difference between us having electricity or not.”

“Ok, fine. Electricity is good.” Dean conceded. “So, where is it? What are the hours? Tell me everything…”

“Nothing fancy. 4am-10am, Saturday at the Gas station

“You’re going to be working at the gas station?” Dean said with a smirk. “You’re a bit overqualified.”

Cas had a PhD in computational linguistics. He had a gifted tongue in every sense. Pure linguistics was his passion, but the future he knew lay in computing industry. The NSA had recruited him straight out of college and a few years later he secured a job with the DOD and they had both made the move to Washington. It was a great move in every way, it brought them closer to Sam and Eileen, his fiancé, who’d moved down there after Sam had graduated in Law at Stanford.

Stanford was how they’d all met. Sam and Cas had met in the library while Sam was studying for his exams and Cas working on his thesis, being a few years ahead and into his PhD. It hadn’t taken long to be introduced to older brother Dean. Cas had been smitten with him from the off, but Dean had played his feelings out into hostility, which made their relationship difficult for the first few weeks. It hadn’t taken long for Cas and Dean to have a far more profound bond than Cas did with Sam, but it wasn’t until after he had finished his Phd that Dean had finally made the move.

Cas’ job payed well, very well, even as a junior in the department. But with the mortgage repayments they were scraping for every cent and had moved into a smaller apartment a few weeks ago.

“I know, but it’s the best hourly rate I could find locally and it’s within walking distance.”

“Like I’m letting you walk there at 4 in the morning!”

“Dean you know very well I can look after myself and we can’t be using ‘baby’ for short trips and wasting fuel.”

It was true, Dean mused. Cas very rarely got angry and avoided violence and confrontation at all costs. But he recalled one night at a bar last year, they’d both had a little too much to drink and Dean had pissed off a biker, who had tried to ruff him up. Cas had floored the guy like it was nothing, and then proceeded to ruin three more hefty guys who’d blocked their exit as they had tried to leg it out of the door.

Dean smiled at the memory. “Fair enough. But as soon as business picks up you quit, right. I don’t want you working yourself into the ground.”

Dean knew Cas’ job was tough, he could see it in his features every time he got home from work. It was long hours, stressful and he was relatively new so was in a constant battle to prove himself. The worst thing was he couldn’t talk about it. Cas was far too good at bottling stuff up and worked harder than anyone he knew.

“Agreed.”

…………………………………………


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter I know, but I'm trying to do shorter chapters for this fic rather than 10,000+ extravaganzas like I'm used to.

The first few weeks were tough. Very tough. Dean suddenly realised how much he’d taken on and he was overwhelmed. The first few days he got home at 9pm, dinner on the table and a doting husband easing away all the struggles. Every day Dean went to bed exhausted and woke up to fully balanced accounts and an empty space in the bed as Cas had already left for work.

Cas was working 12 hours shifts from 6am on weekdays, he loved his job, but it was mentally exhausting. He got home and cooked a meal for Dean, who came home later with every passing day, trying to keep on top of the work. He always put on a smile, despite his own tiredness. Cas then made lunch for them both for the next day and packed it in the fridge. He stayed sat up in bed, doing the accounts in the dark so it was ready for Dean in the morning. He was after all, good with numbers.

Finally, after a month Cas was confident enough in the books that they could afford to hire a few more hands to help with the running of things and take the workload off Dean.

But Dean just kept coming home later and later. Dinner was now in the fridge waiting, because Cas was too tired to stay up any more. Then Dean started leaving before even Cas woke up on weekdays. They still phoned each other every time Cas was on a break, but the calls became less frequent, twice a day, then just at lunch. Then the calls were just texts. ‘working late, back at 10.’ It was always midnight though before he crawled into bed beside Cas. ‘Don’t wait up.’

After 3 months Cas realised he hadn’t actually spoken to his husband for anything more than a sleepy grunt in 3 weeks. He was lonely, stressed and tired, but he knew that in a few more weeks everything would start getting better.


	3. Chapter 3

It was midday on Saturday and Cas was exhausted. Getting off his shift he’d had a text from the bank saying they were overdrawn, which shouldn’t have happened. So, instead of going back to bed he was ringing Dean.

There was no answer.

Then his phone buzzed with a text.

 _From Dean: Busy with customer, what’s up_?

_To Dean: Can you get the accountant to email me the numbers._

There was no reply but 20minutes later there was an email on his laptop. The brightness of the screen burned his eyes as he tried to make sense of what was in front of him, but he couldn’t. The whole system was so disorganised and haphazard he couldn’t figure out what was coming or going.

He got out his old spreadsheet and modified that with the new sales and salaries and stared at the numbers.

It was a miracle they’d been able to buy the business. Poor Bobby Singer had been desperate to sell. He was suffering from heart disease and wanted to spend his last years living life to the full. He was a great Boss and Cas knew Dean considered him a friend. That’s why when Dean came up with the crackpot idea of taking over Bobby had cancelled the deal with the developers and reduced the price as much as he could.

Bobby would have given it to Dean, Cas knew, if he didn’t need the money to pay off his mortgage, pay for his medical care and have enough to move to Australia to enjoy his least years in the sun.

Cas had scraped up half a million, by raiding his inheritance from his mad uncle, scraping together his savings and asking Gabriel, the only person in his family he still talked to for a favour. They’d had to borrow 7 million in the end.

Cas was earning $7500 a month and Dean’s new manager’s salary was giving them $6700 and the business profits where coming to around $18G. They were bringing in $32 K a month but they had been coming up $80 short every month since they’d hired the new guys. The mortgage was huge. He’d surprised they’d even been granted to it, but the business figures seemed to have done the trick, even if they were rather overestimated.

Cas looked over the spreadsheet again. He and Dean had agreed on the accountant’s salary, but looking at the books, the accountant was being payed $200 a month more than he’d suggested to Dean.

He picked up the phone. No answer.

_Text from Dean: Busy_

_Text to Dean: Call me now._

It took a while for the phone to ring and it wasn’t the response he was hoping for.

“Cas, what’s wrong.” Oh, it was good to hear Dean’s voice, but Dean’s tone didn’t seem to return the thought and that killed Cas’ good mood instantly.

“Any reason the accountant’s salary is $200 a month higher than we agreed?” Cas was too tired and now too grumpy for small talk. His pounding headache really not helping.

“He really wowed at interview and well, he’s a really nice guy. But he wanted a higher salary, Grandmother’s in hospital, cancer, so I thought it wasn’t a lot different.”

“You need to tell me when you make decisions that involve money. I have to sort out the budget!”

“Relax Cas, we’re fine. Aren’t we?” He added concerned.

Cas sighed and gripped his nose. He supposed he could take longer hours at the gas station and work on a Sunday as well, that would make up the deficit. He knew how hard Dean was working and how stressed he was. This was his dream and Cas wasn’t going to add any misery into this.

“Yeah. It’s fine.” Cas sighed.

“See, stop worrying.” Dean said, clearly in a rush to get off the phone. There was the sound of whirring machinery in background.

“Are you in the garage? Why are you in the garage?” Dean didn’t work as a mechanic, not now he was manager, so he should have no reason to be in the garage.

Dean pulled himself out from underneath the Car and wiped the oil on his overalls. “Just checking everything’s running smoothly down here before heading back to the office.” He lied. “Anything else?”

“Yes, you need to sack that accountant.”

“Why?”

“The books are a shambles, quite frankly we’re open to investigation for tax fraud with how he’s moving money around. I’ll sort it out until you can hire someone else.”

“Ok. If you say so.” Dean said in a disgruntled tone and Cas frowned at the other end of the line. He was about to retort when the line went dead.

Cas sighed angrily and started to calculate how much this overdraft was going to cost them in interest and then emailed his boss pleading for more hours.

He then looked into their so-called accountant. He CV was certainly impressive, but when he dug a little he realised that this guy was a fraud. All relatives were dead for a start, apart from a sister in prison for larceny. So, no sick Grandma. And although he’d started studying accounting he’d dropped out.

Cas suddenly felt a burning anger. Had Dean even checked this guys’ references? He gripped his nose tight and stood up in frustration. His head suddenly started to feel very fuzzy and the room tilted violently as his head spun and vision pixelated. He gripped hard onto the table and puffed a few deep breaths. He’d been getting dizzy a lot lately, but that’s the worse it had been. He was just tired.

He started walking to his bedroom when a sudden wave of Nausea hit him. Half an hour later he glanced at his phone while he spewed his guts into the toilet basin. Email from his boss. He’d be taking the boss’ weekend shifts… Saturday 5-9pm and Sunday 4am-4pm. He looked at the time. Great. Looks like he was working in 40 minutes.

………………………………………


	4. Chapter 4

Dean was starting to think this whole thing was a bad idea. It was nothing like he’d dreamed. Nothing like he’d wanted. He was stuck in an office, all day every day. At the start at least, he’d had a few hours with Cas on an evening, but then he hadn’t been able to stay up. Dean got that at first. Cas was worn out, of course he was… but after a while the loneliness and longing for his husband’s company wore off and was just replaced with misery and tiredness.

Quite frankly, he hated it. He hated his new job. All he wanted was to go back downstairs and tinker with the cars, talk to customers and Cas’ constant call’s and texts were grating on him to the point he just stopped answering them. He was trying to work and Cas couldn’t stop distracting him.

When he’d hired a few hands to pick up the extra work, Dean realised he could finally go back to normal hours. He could go home… Or, he could do the thing he’d been missing all this time. His old job. He could come in earlier, help the guys out and then pop down again until close up.

So that’s what he’d been doing. Instead of going home to Cas, he went down the garage. His old friends, the smell’s and the sounds, it made him happy again. Made him able to get through the day. He didn’t think about Cas at all.

When Benny and the lads asked him out for a beer after their shift he went. But he didn’t call Cas along like he used to before. Guy was so whacked he’d just say no anyway. He was probably already asleep. Dean was doing him a favour.

…………………………………

Cas walked into the apartment and tossed his keys in the bowl. It was lunch hour, but he wasn’t hungry. The nausea and dizziness had only been getting worse, so much so he’d stopped making lunch for himself. Thinking about it, he hadn’t eaten in 3 days now, just the odd protein shake, which was about all he could stomach.

In all honesty he’d just come home for a 20minute lie down. He’d spent all morning at work feeling like crap. The extra hours and juggling two jobs was taking its toll, but they needed the money. It wasn’t forever, he told himself.

He undid his shoes to ease the ache in his feet and ankles. He rubbed them curiously, they felt numb and a little swollen, but he’d been on his feet all day. Traipsing round the offices of senior agents dealing with their shit, he’d barely touched his on stack of work and knew he’d be working late tonight to catch up. He swung his feet up on the couch, laying back into the pillows and setting his alarm for 20minutes time.

His eyes slipped shut but was quickly jerked back by a knock on the door.

“Sam?” He opened the door to Dean’s brother. He hadn’t seen him and Eileen for well, probably 4 months, which was ridiculous considering they lived 15minutes away.

“Hey Cas, how you been?” Sam smiled, but the look faded as he took in Castiel.

The guy looked wrecked. He was in his usual suit, but without the coat and jacket. His dress shirt was crumpled and half unbuttoned, his tie deliberately loosened and his already untameable black hair was sticking up at all angles.

Most concerning was the greyness to his complexion. The dark circles and the slight sheen of sweat.

“Dude, are you ok? You look really ill.” Sam asked concerned.

“Not ill Sam, just tired. Today’s the hard one with my shifts.” He lied. Every day was the hard day. “Just came home for a nap, I’m back in at 1pm.”

“Oh, man sorry I disturbed you.”

“No, it’s fine Sam, you’re always welcome.”

“Is Dean in?” Sam asked hesitantly.

“No, sorry he’s at the shop.”

“No, that’s fine.”

Cas apologised for everything and although Sam found his friend adorable for it, it also saddened him greatly. He knew it was a remnant of the family and the past he rarely talked about. That guy had been through hell.

“Anyway, I was just here to invite you both to Dinner at ours on Sunday evening. It’s been way too long.”

Dinner. With a shift the next morning. And food. Cas didn’t feel it was a good idea, but he loved spending time with the two of them.

“Charlie’s coming too and Kevin.”

Cas had met Charlie after she’d tried to hack into the NSA and Sam had got her off the charges. He wasn’t sure how Sam had swung it, but she’d ended up a little sister to Dean and Sam and Cas too. Kevin was Charlie’s best friend, still a Kid, but already a genius. An advanced placement with perfect score. They really were the most unlikely family, especially when you threw Dean in the mix. They were essentially a bunch of nerds if you discounted green eyed mechanic.

“Well that settles it. I’ll be there.” Cas smiled. “You might want to swing round and ask Dean yourself though. He’s doesn’t pick up the phone at work and our shifts don’t coincide for the next few days so I won’t see him to talk to him.”

“Yeah sure.” Sam smiled, but he looked at Cas with concern. It worried him that Cas and Dean wouldn’t be seeing each other for so long. The two were utterly inseparable usually. “Take it easy ok. You look like hell.” Sam smiled, but his eyes betrayed his alarm.

Cas chuckled sadly. “It’s nothing Sam. I’m fine.” He ensured.

……………………………….

Dean looked up as there was a knock at his door.

“Hello Sammy, to what do I owe this?” He said with a smile.

“God Dean, you look nearly as worn out as Cas does.” Those words bit a little at Dean’s insides.

“You spoke to Cas?” Dean asked curiously. “How is he?” Dean realised he hadn’t actually seen in husband face to face in a few weeks and he felt a pang of guilt that he had no idea how his partner was getting on.

“Shouldn’t you know, he’s your Husband?” Sam scoffed.

“Yeah, we’ve both been at the grindstone a bit.” Dean sighed

“Yeah, I swung by you apartment to ask you both to dinner on Sunday, at 6. Cas said, he’s fine, but he looks exhausted.” Sam probed, wondering what response he was going to get.

“I’m sure he’s fine, just working some crazy shifts, like me. Keeping on top of this mortgage sucks.”

“I can’t imagine.” Sam said sincerely. He knew what a stress money could be. “It’ll be worth it though, I’m sure.” Sam’s brow furrowed. He’d just told Dean his beloved husband wasn’t looking well and he’d barely got a rise. Even when Sam had still been at college, before Cas and Dean had been going out Dean was furiously protective of Cas. He’s get mad if Cas had so much as a papercut.

“Yeah of course.” Dean looked up briefly and then started writing again.

“So, you coming?”

“Huh.” Dean hummed, not really listening.

“To dinner?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. See you on Saturday.”

“Sunday." Sam corrected. "Great, don’t work too hard.”

“You know me Sam. I’m incapable of it.”

………………………………


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey Cas!” Eileen smiled as she opened the door, taking the bottle of wine from him and looking around curiously. “Dean not with you?” She asked. “He better not be hiding again to make me jump.” Cas shook his head and signed back

‘ _He’s not hiding, not back from work.’_

“OK, never mind, come in.”

Cas tried to join in at dinner, he tried his best to dig in to the food, Eileen was a great cook after all. But despite the glorious taste, the more he ate the more overwhelming the nausea became. After a while he stopped talking and started pushing his food around a plate. He was absolutely knackered.

Everyone was busy talking so it took a while, but Charlie noticed. When they started clearing the plates she pulled Sam aside.

“What’s up with Castiel?” She asked quietly, following him to the kitchen. “He looks miserable. Where is Dean?”

“Dean’s working, taking on Singer’s place, the debt… Cas’ working two jobs, he’s just worn out. The business is raking it in though, so it won’t be long before things go back to normal.”

“He barely ate a thing and that t-shirt, that’s the one I got for him at Christmas.” She hissed.

Sam glanced across at Cas who was signing something to Eileen. He loved how Cas, the linguist had picked up sign language the instant Sam had started dating Eileen. He’d actually taught Sam most of what he knew. The T-shirt was hanging off him loosely and suddenly Sam twigged.

“The one that was 2 sizes too small, but he insisted on keeping?”

“Exactly.” Charlie said worriedly.

“So, either he’s dropped 20lbs or he bought a bigger size?”

“Why do you think I buy Clothes for Cas? He never buys clothes, he wears the same thing the whole damn time.”

Sam frowned in worry, remembering they’re earlier encounter at the flat and the encounter with Dean. Dean was usually the one looking after Cas, making sure that the overly selfless guy wasn’t neglecting himself, but if Dean wasn’t around as much Cas was likely putting himself last all the time.

“Me and Eileen will talk to him.” Sam said firmly. “Don’t worry Charlie.”

……………………………….

“Cas, you got a minute before you leave?”

Cas was desperate to get home to bed. It was 11:30 and he was up 3:30 for work. But Sam obviously needed something, his face was sincere and laced with concern and he never let his friend down.

“Yeah sure, Sam.”

“Sit down.”

Cas frowned when he saw Eileen on the sofa waiting, staring at him and he twigged. “Why does this look an awful lot like an intervention?” He said. “What I have done?”

Sam sighed. “Cas, it’s nothing like that, I’m just worried about you and about Dean.”

“We’re just overworked that’s all. It’ll get better soon.” Cas said sadly. It had nearly been half a year. They’d been saying soon for a long time.

“I know Cas, but well, I couldn’t help noticing you didn’t eat a lot…”

“I…”

“Cas, just hear me out and please be honest. Charlie pointed out your t-shirt. That was too small at Christmas and now…”

“Are you Sick Cas. Have you been eating properly?” Eileen interjected. Sam was trying to be sensitive, but Eileen knew they needed to be direct.

Cas sighed. “I’m just tired guys. There’s nothing to worry about. I might have forgotten a few meals because I was rushed…”

“Bullshit.”

“Eileen.” Sam warned, he usually oved his fiancé’s no-nonsense approach, but Cas was prone to shutting down when he felt threatened. “Cas, come on, we’re your family you can talk to us.”

“I’ve not been feeling well recently.” Cas admitted. Sam raised his eyebrow asking for more information. “Nausea, fatigue, feeling a bit dizzy. I just thought I was tired you know. I am tired. But eating just makes me feel sick, so I haven’t really been eating much.”

“Does Dean know?”

“No.”

“Why not Cas? He cares about you.” Eileen implored him.

“I know. It’s just…”

“What?” Eileen asked concerned.

“He’s struggling too, there’s no point worrying him with it and we haven’t actually seen each other face to face for a few weeks. I go to bed before he gets home and one of us always leaves before the other wakes up…”

Sam and Eileen were silent at the moment. They’d known things were hard for them both, but this was a bit shocking. He wanted to push things, but Cas was so tired he was trembling a little with exhaustion. Eileen’s heart melted at the sight of their friend in such a vulnerable state. She crossed the room and pulled the now quite small framed man into a hug.

“Right. Fine. I’m driving you home and making you a doctor’s appointment in the morning.” Sam said firmly.

“Sam, you don’t have to.” Cas looked almost horrified at the notion of being an inconvenience.

“I do Cas. I need to make sure you are looking after yourself. So, I’ll pick you up at 9am.”

“I can’t Sam, my shift starts in a few hours and we can’t afford to miss work.”

“A few hours?”

“Well, more than a few but…” Cas lied. Sam noticed.

“Do you get sick pay?”

“Yes.”

“Then call in sick. Come on.”

Sam helped Cas to his feet and Eileen fetched his coat, draping it carefully over his shivering frame. They arrived at Cas and Dean’s apartment just after midnight and Sam made sure he got in safely.

“You want me to stay?” Sam asked. Cas had been looking worse and worse since they’d got him to fess up. He’d probably stopped bothering to hide it from the tall lawyer, but Sam was more than a little worried, especially when he found Dean still wasn’t there to look after him.

“It’s fine. Dean will be home soon.” Cas said unconvincingly.

“I’ll give you a wake-up call when I set off, but please get some sleep Cas.”

“Ok.”

Sam was all but ready to tear his older brother a new one the next morning. This situation was ridiculous.

……………………………..

Cas shouldn’t have let himself sleep so long. Turns out getting 8 hours sleep in one night, when you’ve only had double that per week is a massive shock to the system. It took every ounce of will power he had to drag himself out of bed, he’d felt far, far less tired before.

He knew he looked like crap when Sam knocked at the door, but his friend didn’t say anything and he appreciated it. He’d seen the vein start pulsing in Sam’s throat when he’d made Cas confess that Dean hadn’t come home that night, but again, Sam didn’t do anything just yet.

The doctor’s office was horrendously busy, and the noise was making Cas’ headache worse and worse. Sam checked him in and sat down next to him as they waited. Cas was looking very fragile and up close he could see just how much weight he’d lost. It was frightening, and Sam was beyond worried, but they were here now, they’d get it sorted.

“Mr. Novak.” Cas had kept his own name after the marriage. A mutual decision between himself and Dean.

Cas stepped into the doctor’s office.

“Mr. Novak, what seems to be the problem?”

The doctor didn’t even look up from the screen.

“I’ve been feeling sick for the past few weeks. Tired, dizzy…”

“How much sleep do you get per night.”

“Ermm, not enough. 4 hours on a good night. 2 hours normally.”

The doctor suddenly looked up and took in Cas’ appearance with a frown.

“Well, it sounds to me like you’ve just run yourself into the ground and got yourself a case of the flu.” He gave Cas a thermometer. “Wait till it beeps.”

“Yep, 103.2, you have a slight fever. Please lift your shirt.” Cas felt the cold metal of a stethoscope press against the back of his ribs.

“Breathing sounds fine. I’ll prescribe you some antivirals, your symptoms are fairly obvious. Make sure you are eating and drinking enough and come back if it continues for more than a week.”

Cas wandered back into reception a little dazed holding a piece of paper.

“Cas, that was fast.” Sam said, getting up to make sure Cas was stable on his feet.

“Err yeah.”

“And…”

“Flu apparently. I have a prescription.” Sam looked at it questioningly.

“Right, go sit in the car, I’ll sort this out for you.”

……………………………

“Look Cas, I’m not comfortable leaving you alone right now, will you come back to ours?” Sam asked as they arrived back at the apartment.

“It’s ok Sam, I’ll call Dean and ask him to come home.”

“That’s Good.” Sam nodded. He was still reluctant to leave, but after some persuasion and assurance from Cas he did decide to leave. And Cas did intend to call Dean, he really did, but then he figured Dean would be home for lunch and they could talk then.

But Dean didn’t come home for lunch like he’d expected. After some deliberation and wading through a tonne of guilt for disturbing his husband, he did pick up the phone. Sam would only check up later and he wasn’t going to break his promise to his best friend.

“Hello, Singer’s Auto’s.”

“Hi Chuck, its Cas, I need to talk to Dean if he’s about.” Chuck was one of the new desk hands, who was helping take the load off Dean as manager.

“Err, Castiel, I’m sorry but Dean doesn’t work on a Sunday anymore.”

“He doesn’t?”

“No, since he hired me and Garth, he’s been on 6 days a week 9-5.”

“Ermm, it’s ok, he told me he was going out for drinks I just forgot. Sorry to bother you.”

Cas hung up. So, he hadn’t seen Dean for week, despite the fact he was on normal hours. And if he wasn’t working today then where the hell was he?

Cas picked up the phone to call Dean’s cell, but fear made him change his mind. He was sure Dean had a good reason. He sent a text instead. ‘Hope you’re ok.’

Dean didn’t come home that night either. Nor did he reply. Cas lay alone in bed and shivered with cold and fever, thinking of Dean.

……………………………


	6. Chapter 6

Cas had gone back to work after a few days of rest. But he wasn’t feeling any better. In fact, he was feeling worse and he was running out of sick days.

By the time Dean had come home late the next evening, Cas didn’t feel like telling him about being sick, he looked too tired and stressed. Cas cooked that night for Dean, but despite the doctor’s orders he still couldn’t force himself to eat, the nausea was overwhelming. Instead of even trying to sleep Cas lay awake watching his husband sleep. That’s when he noticed a few things. Dean didn’t even lie close to him anymore, he stayed at the edge of the bed, leaving a cold and empty gap between them. Dean had always been a clingy sleeper, but now there wasn’t so much as a word or a hair ruffle when he got in or out of bed with Cas.

By Friday night Cas knew. He didn’t want to believe it but he knew. Dean didn’t love him anymore, he was seeing someone else. He didn’t come back that night either.

Cas cried himself to sleep on that night, alone in the apartment, lying awake well into the early hours. Then his alarm went off and he realised, that he hadn’t actually slept at all.

A few hours into the lonely early morning shift, the others started arriving for theirs.

“Hey Cas, Jake in yet?” Anna asked him with a smile, twirling a finger through her read hair.

“No, late as usual.”

Anna giggled. “Probably slept in. He was so happy when you took on the morning shifts that he nearly threw a party.”

Jake was the boss and he certainly wasn’t a morning person. He was a nice guy and he got on well with him, and the rest on the weekend staff.

“You fine on the tills if I start inventory?”

“Yeah sure.” Cas smiled. In all reality he was leaning his full weight on the desk in front of him.

“You ok, you look a bit peaky?”

“Just need to catch up on some sleep.” Cas admitted, but he was thinking maybe he wasn’t quite well enough to come back to work yet.

A customer soon came and snapped Cas out of his boredom, but the room was starting to spin and his head went fuzzy and he realised he’d been missing what the customer was saying to him.

“Hey dumbfuck, cigarettes now.” The an tapped the desk aggressively and Cas took a deep breath as he tried to regain his concentration.

“I’m… ss.” Cas started. “Sssorry ssssir.” Cas slurred, his mouth felt heavy and numb, he could barely keep his eyes open. What was happening? His vision faded in and out.

“What are you, a spaz? Or are you just stoned?”

“What’s going on here.” Jake said walking in finally to see what the disturbance was.

“You’re hiring smack heads that’s what.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look at him, he’s completely out of it.” The bald thug shouted.

“Cas? Are you alright?” A familiar concerned voice broke through, but he couldn’t focus on it. He felt like he was sinking.

“Yeah, sssorry just…”

Cas let go of the desk for a moment and took a step back. Jake looked at him with concern.

“What’s going on?” Anna stepped out of the back room at the ruckus.

“He’s high as a kite.” The thug said again, but Cas didn’t hear any of it.

“Crap.” He groaned as his body folded. Cas crumpled, head hitting the floor with a thwack.

“Jesus Christ, Cas!” Jake hopped over the desk and knelt down by Castiel. “Castiel!” Cas was grey and a little yellowish, unmoving and breathing heavily, skin sheened in sweat.

“Cas, buddy can you hear me?” Jake asked frantically. There wasn’t even a glimmer of a response.

“I’m calling an ambulance.” Anna said, phone pressed shakily to her ear.

“Sir, I’m afraid we are closed, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” The guy swore and kicked something as he left, but frankly Jake didn’t care.

……………………………..


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm saving you from one cliff hanger and giving you another. Sorry about this guys.

When Cas woke up he couldn’t place where he was. The lights were bright and the room seemed incredibly white. There was a familiar voice breaking through the buzzing in his ears, as well as a soft beeping sound.

“Cassie? You awake?”

Castiel groaned. As the beeping became clearer and the memories reformed in his head he realised where he was.

“Gabriel.” Castiel looked up into the eyes of his smaller, older brother. “What are you doing here?”

“The hospital called me when you were brought in, you still have me down as next of kin.”

“Oh, of course.”

“Do you remember what happened Baby brother? They said you passed out at work.”

“I had the flu last week.” Cas started. “I just must have gone back too early, I felt a bit faint and dizzy then I woke up here.”

“Cassie, you have to take better care of yourself.” Gabriel fussed, caressing the side of his brother’s face. “You’ve been out nearly four hours. The doctors were worried sick.”

“Where’s Dean? Did you call him.”

“I tried to ring him on your phone, but he wasn’t picking up.”

“It’s ok. If he calls back just leave it. Don’t call him again.”

Gabriel’s face darkened. “Cassie, Why?”

“I just don’t want to worry him.”

“Cassie, I’m your big brother. I can tell when something’s wrong.” He examined the bruises on Castiel’s arms and the cut on his head. “Is he hurting you?” He glowered.

“No, Gabriel, no of course he isn’t.”

“Then how did you get these?” He pointed to the injuries. Bruises on one arm and an angry cut on his head.

“I don’t know, it must have been when I fell it wasn’t there this morning.” Gabriel looked unconvinced. “Honest Gabriel.” Cas implored.

“Then what’s wrong? Why don’t you want him to know?” Gabriel demanded.

Cas sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Look, can you please drop it. I’m too tired right now and I just want to rest.”

“Ok Cassie. You will tell me though, right? Later?”

“Of course, Gabriel.”

……………………………

Dean had, had a good day. The business was running well and now he reckoned he could work regular hours even including those extra he put in in the garage. Ok, more than a few more hours in the garage, but he’d missed it so much and it had really brought his head back into a good place. Now he felt better and he missed Cas so much.

He came home to share the news with Cas. He felt awful that he’d seen so little of him, but now it was time to make it up to him. Cas could quit that second Job. They could have weekends together and start saving to pay off that mortgage quicker. Maybe in a few years they could get that house. He’d checked the new accountant properly this time and signed off on contract with a local business to supply and maintain all of their vehicles. Things were finally looking better.

But when he arrived home, Cas wasn’t there. It was lunchtime, he should have finished his shift at the gas and sip. Of course, he’s have gone back to bed. Dean smiled as he opened the fridge and saw his lunch was there, readymade, just like every day. He sat down to eat. Cas would be exhausted at the end of a long week, he could wait till he woke up to share the news.

He was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Hey Sammy, how are you?” Dean was delighted but surprised to see his younger brother.

“Dean, why are you here?”

“What do you mean why am I here? I live here.” Dean protested, mouth full of sandwich.

“Yeah, but Cas said you were working 24/7.”

“I can drop down to normal hours now.”

“Right, well that’s great! I came to see how Cas is doing?”

“Ermm, don’t know, just got back, guessing he’s in bed after his shift.”

“Dean, how could you let him go back to work? It’s barely been a week!”

“What are you on about?” Dean asked, confused at the anger directed towards him. “Come in and sit down, I think I’m missing something here.”

Sam did so and sat on the sofa.

“Sammy, nice to see you and all, but let’s start from the beginning. Why are you here? I haven’t seen you for months.”

“I came to check on Cas, he’s been texting me every day, but haven’t heard from him all day. He’s not answering his phone and I was worried sick.”

Dean stood up suddenly. “Cas, you home?” He asked nervously. When there was no answer he moved towards the bedroom, just to discover the bed was empty and made. The bathroom was clear too and the kitchen.

“Shit.”

“He’s not here?” Sam said worriedly.

“No, I just assumed he’d be asleep.”

“I can’t believe this Dean. I can’t believe you didn’t even notice!”

“Sammy…”

“You don’t even know he’s sick do you?”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, his heart dropping through his stomach.

“Dinner, last weekend. The one you said you’d be at. He was wearing that T-shirt that Charlie bought him for Christmas.”

“The one so tight it makes him look like a stripper?” Dean smirked.

“Nicely put Dean, but yes. Apart from it’s not tight anymore. It’s too big.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cas has been forgetting to eat, or too busy, then he got sick and couldn’t eat. Me and Eileen had to intervene and get him to admit it. Then I had to make him take the week off work and take him to the Doctor’s for a check-up, because he wouldn’t have done himself. He’s just kept working himself into the ground. You know what he’s like Dean and you are the one who usually stops him going along this road. Let me just ask you this Dean, if you haven’t seen him in 3 weeks, who the hell do you think would be looking out for him?”

“Sammy, what do you mean, he’s sick… what’s wrong with my angel?”

“Oh relax, it’s just the flu. But it could have been worse.”

“Oh God, I’m such an idiot.” Dean put his face in his hands.

“Yes, yes you are Dean. All it would have taken is a phone call to me saying, I’m working late at the moment, would someone keep an eye on my self-neglecting husband and make sure he doesn’t let himself waste away.”

They were interrupted by Sam’s phone ringing.

“Oh, thank God it’s Cas.” He picked up. “God, Cas I’ve been so worried, where are you? I’m at yours now with Dean, but you aren’t?”

“Sorry, Sam I should have called. Dean is home?” Cas asked curiously.

“Yeah Dean is home, he’s right here. Why didn’t you tell him you were sick?”

“I didn’t want to worry him.”

“Oh Cas, you have to stop this. Where are you? You should be resting.”

“Gabriel came into town, so I have been staying with him. It’s fine Sam he’s looking after me.”

Sam sighed with relief. “That’s good. Ok….”

Sam’s voice was cut off by a bit of static over the line. “Give me the phone Sammy!” Dean demanded, snatching it off his brother. “Cas, why on earth didn’t you tell me you were sick!” Dean shouted a little too angrily and Gabriel saw his brother curl up a bit in his hospital bed moving closer to try and hear the conversation. The anger in Dean’s voice made the line clearer in Cas’ head. Dean was mad at him. Dean didn’t love him anymore. Cas was just an inconvenience to him.

“I called, but you didn’t answer.” Cas said, hostility creeping into his voice that made Dean reel a little. Shit. Cas called him all the time and he didn’t answer. He checked his missed calls. Cas hadn’t actually called him in over a week. He’d given up calling.

“Cas, I….”

“Gabriel, get off… No.” It was now Cas’ turn to have his phone snatched away as the two elder brothers were thrown into conversation.

“Dean, stop shouting, you are upsetting my brother, he’s not very well and he’s staying with me until he’s better.”

“Gabriel please…” Dean asked, wanting a chance to explain, that he was only shouting because he was worried.

“No Dean, you don’t get to ask for anything, not after how you’ve treated him…”  

“Gabriel stop it.” Cas yelled at the other end of the phone and suddenly everyone was silent. Dean heard angry whispers, but couldn’t make out the words.

Cas grabbed the phone and put his hand over the receiver to block out the noise. “Gabriel, don’t you dare say anything.”

“Why the hell not?”

The ruckus had attracted the attention of the nurses in the corridor.

“Is everything alright in here?” One of them asked, then noticed the phone. “You can’t use that in here I’m afraid Sir.”

“Ok, I’m sorry, just two seconds. Everything’s fine.” Cas said and then put the phone back to his ear.

“Dean, I’m sorry I have to go. I should be back tonight and we’ll talk then.”

…………….

The line went dead. Cas had hung up and Dean was just left feeling a bit confused.

“And…” Sam asked.

“Ermmm, he’s coming home tonight and we’ll talk then. Gabriel is with him.”

“Oh, I bet he’s mad at you.”

“Sounded it.” Dean said sadly.

“Anyway, I have to get back to work.” Sam announced and headed towards the door. “You look after our Castiel, Dean. Or else.”

The door slammed shut.

………………………………..

“Mr. Novak. I heard from the nurses you were awake and in distress?” The doctor walked in a few minutes later and asked concernedly.

“It’s ok, argument with the husband. I’m sorry for using my phone.”

“That’s ok Mr. Novak. Nobody really listens to that rule anyway. I would advise in you condition that you really should be avoiding stress at all costs. Your weight and blood test results are alarming.”

“Yeah, I know, I’ve been wearing myself a bit thin and got the flu. I’m going to go home and rest till I’m recovered. Can I go now?”

“I’m afraid Mr. Novak, it’s not the flu that caused you to pass out, nor your alarmingly low blood sugar level.”

“What is it?” Gabriel asked in panic, reading the doctors expression like a book. He’d seen it so many times. “What’s wrong with my brother.”

“I’m afraid it’s bad news Mr. Novak.” The Doctor said sincerely. “You have stage 3 renal cancer.”

“Cancer.” Castiel’s shoulder’s sunk. They couldn’t afford cancer treatment. Not even with the insurance.

Gabriel froze. He couldn’t say a word.

“It appears to be very aggressive and progressing quickly. You are showing all the symptoms of kidney failure, though it appears that this has preceded the cancer by some time and may even have triggered it.”

“So, my kidneys were already failing?”

“Yes, Mr. Novak. You have been experiencing weight loss, swelling ankles, nausea, fatigue?”

“Yes, all of that, but I have been working long hours I thought it was just…” Castiel stopped. He had nothing else to say.

“We are not sure what could have caused it in someone so young. You don’t drink or smoke? Do drugs.”

“No, nothing like that.”

“Anyone in your family have a history?”

“I don’t know. I ran away when I was 14. Gabriel?”

“Ermm. Yes.” Gabriel started, gathering his thoughts. “Maternal side… grandmother, uncle, cousins…”

“Well then it sounds very much like a genetic causation. Because it is such a late stage I have referred you to a specialist, they suggest you start chemotherapy almost immediately. We have a space at a clinic in Atlanta next weekend which I would very strongly suggest you take up. Time is of the essence and they will be able assess whether surgery will help.”

“Atlanta?” How was he going to get to Atlanta, it was at least 9 hours away?

“What’s the prognosis.” Gabriel asked. Hugging his shocked and trembling brother tightly.

“Both kidneys are affected, but only the one severely. If we can stop it spreading, remove the bad kidney and treat the other, with your age and general health there is a very good chance we will be able to both eradicate the cancer in the good kidney and get it to recover with the correct treatment. There is also the option for transplant if necessary. All in all, there is a very real chance you will be able to live a normal life.”

“But what if you can’t…” Gabriel spoke up.

“Mr. Novak.” The doctor addressed Gabriel this time, firmly. He knew the relatives often took control while the patient crumbled and that is exactly what was happening now. Castiel wasn’t in the room, not really. His head was somewhere else entirely and by the shocked and gaunt look on his face the doctor knew, he needed time and not to be bombarded with information.

“I can see you have a lot of questions and I am very happy to answer them.” He continued. “But it would appear your brother needs some time for this to sink in. I will come back in half an hour to discuss options with you both.”

Cancer. The word rang around his head and nothing else could penetrate.

He had cancer.

“Don’t tell Dean.” It was his first thought. Dean couldn’t know.

“Cassie!” Gabriel protested.

“Don’t. Tell. Dean.” Castiel said firmly, his eyes dark and dangerous.

“Ok.” Gabriel didn’t argue further. Now wasn’t the time. He just held his brother tightly and tried not to let the tears flow down his cheeks.

“Or Sam. He’ll just tell Dean. Or Charlie, she’ll be upset…” Cas sniffled.

“I’m not going to tell anyone until you want me to.” Gabriel cut him off. “You heard what the doctor said. It’s all going to be fine. We’re going to get you through this. It’s all going to be fine.”

“I don’t want the treatment Gabriel.”

“What!” Gabriel tried very hard not to shout in disbelief. He kept his voice soft, his tone supporting. If attacked Cas now, he would shut down and there would be no convincing him otherwise. “Why not Cassie?”

“We… We don’t have enough money.”

“Castiel, don’t you worry about that for a second. You have insurance and I will pay for the rest.”

“Gabriel, I couldn’t ask you to.”

“I don’t care whether you are asking, I am doing.”

“It’s too much.”

“Castiel. You cannot put a price on your life. You know money is not an issue to me and I can ask Balthazar…”

“I don’t know…”

“You are getting treatment. I’m paying. That’s final.”

Cas nodded weakly.

“Thank you, Gabriel.”

“I love you baby brother. I’m so, so sorry.”

There was silence for a while.

“Can I go home?” Cas asked shakily.

“Let’s wait for the doctor and then I’ll get you discharged.”

…………………

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! You'll have to wait a little bit because I really have to update my other 3 stories else my followers will lynch me. Thanks for reading. Remember comments make me write faster.


	8. Chapter 8

Gabriel had dropped Cas off at the door, but Dean hadn’t been in. He’d gone out to get cake to say sorry and pamper the heck out of his poor Cas when he got back, but of course, neither of them knew that. All Cas knew that Dean wasn’t there, but that was nothing knew lately.

Gabriel didn’t want to leave Cas alone, but Cas had insisted he was fine and he would take it easy. But as soon as Gabriel arrived at his motel he rang his brother back up.

“Hi Baby bro.” Cas heard his brother’s voice as he picked up the phone.

“Hey.” Cas answered tiredly.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really?” Gabriel sceptically.

“Well…” Cas said, the shrug sounded in his voice.

“I know.” Gabriel sighed. “So, this weekend I booked you in at the clinic. What time should I get you?”

“About 6pm Friday, straight from work, would be great.”

“I thought you were taking time off?”

“I am… I just got off the phone with my boss. I explained the situation and he’s been, well he’s been great. They are getting me leave and I will still have a position if I get better. They just want me to work the week out till they can get a stand in.”

“They have stand in computational linguists?” Gabriel scoffed in disbelief.

“I don’t know apparently.” Cas chuckled.

“Anyway, that’s great news. I love you baby brother.”

“I love you too.”

“What have you told Dean?”

“Nothing, I’ll tell him I’m DOD training this weekend and well, there is training but it’s for field agents not techies.”

“I still think you should tell him Cas. He’s your husband and he loves you.”

“I haven’t even seen him for months. He’s so busy with work. I doubt he’ll even notice I’m gone.”

“You’ll tell him eventually though right?”

“Sure.” Cas said, but there was nothing genuine about his tone. He sounded defeated and sad every time he talked about Dean and that was the complete opposite of what Gabriel usually expected from his brother. Cas could wax lyrical on the tiniest things that Dean had done whenever Gabriel asked, but now he brushed aside talking about his ‘soulmate’ every time his name was brought up.

“What aren’t you telling me Cassie?”

“It’s… it’s nothing. We’ll talk about it over the weekend.”

“Ok Cassie. That’s fine.” Gabriel accepted that as the best he was going to get for now.

“Thank you for the other day, I’d really missed you Gabe.”

“Me too Baby bro,

“Don’t call me baby.” Cas giggled.

“Make me.” Gabriel said playfully. “I’ll see you on Friday, you take it easy, look after yourself.”

“I will. Bye.”

……………….

Dean backed away from the door where he’d been listening. Cas was smiling more brightly and broadly than he’d seen him since they’d first met after he’d hung up.

‘I love you’ He’d said. He called them Babe, they’d called him baby. And they were having a weekend away together. Dean sat down heavily, waves of shock rolling over him.

“Dean, you’re back?” Cas asked confused, snapping Dean out of it as he stepped into the kitchen. They hadn’t actually been stood in the same room as each other for months and now it was stifling.

“Yes, things have finally settled down at the shop, I should be back to regular hours.” Dean said, trying not to let his voice break with the emotions that were boiling inside him.

“That’s great.” Cas smiled weakly, there was genuine happiness in his eyes. “I’ve missed you.” He said, but he didn’t move any closer. There was no intimacy between them, in fact despite his happiness at the news Cas looked a little hostile, like he was deliberately avoiding Dean.

Dean was still reeling from what he’d overheard. But maybe there was a good explanation. There had to be a good explanation. Please God, let there be a good explanation.

“Are you feeling better? Sam said you had the flu. Baby, you look awful.” Dean said, taking in his husband’s appearance for the first time in a long time and it was true. Cas was thin and pale he looked exhausted.

“I’m ok now Dean. Just a little tired.”

“Look, Cas, I know this has been hard on you recently, but things are going to get better now I promise. I came with news.”

“Yeah?” Cas asked brightly.

“We got an endorsement, so money should be fine. You can quit at the gas station… And I thought, maybe we could go out for diner this weekend.” Dean probed, praying he wasn’t going to get the response he thought he was about to.

“That’s great Dean. That’s really great, and I’d love to, but...”

‘Here we go’ Dean thought.

“… I have to go away this weekend… It’s a compulsory training thing.” Cas said, but Dean could see it. Even if he hadn’t heard the phone call earlier he knew when Cas was lying.

“We could do it on Monday night.” Cas offered, but it was too late.

“Yeah, no…” Dean stuttered. “It doesn’t matter. I’m busy Monday.” Dean started backing towards the door.

“Ok.” Cas said hesitantly. He felt like he’d just hit a nerve. “What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

“Back to work.” Dean sounded angry, slamming the door hard. Cas was left alone. The silence was deafening. He had no idea what that had all been about but he felt the tears pricking in his eyes.

………………………………….

“Sam, I need a lawyer.”

“Why? What’s wrong.”

“It’s Cas. He’s cheating on me.”

“What!” Sam couldn’t believe that. Cas wasn’t the type.

“I’m pretty sure.”

“How do you know?” Sam could hear the heartbreak in Dean’s voice.

“I overheard him on the phone. He said he loved them. Then he lied to me. To my face. They are going away together this weekend.”

“Ok, Dean, where are you?”

“Just driving around in the impala.”

“Come over to mine and we’ll talk this through.”

……………………….


	9. Chapter 9

“Gabriel.” Sam walked up behind his brother in law who was stood outside Cas and Dean’s apartment. It was Friday night. Dean hadn’t been home since he’d walked out on Cas. He’d been staying with Sam.

“Sam.” The short man greeted, taking the ever-present lollipop out of his mouth

“What are you doing here?” Sam asked curiously.

“What are you doing here?” Gabriel countered.

“Dean errm…. He asked me to drop something for him, a letter for Cas.” Sam explained.

“He won’t get it if you leave it here.” Gabriel said, holding out his hand expectantly.

“Why?” Sam asked.

“He’s staying with me for a few days. I’ll give it to him.” he beckoned Sam to hand it over.

“Why?” He repeated.

“That’s private.” Gabriel said calmly.

“Ok…” Sam frowned. “I thought Cas was on DOD training this weekend?” He asked.

“Yes, it’s up in Atlanta. He left his bags here.”

Sam frowned. Something was off here. He drew the letter back towards himself. Something was very wrong and he now was pretty certain that Dean was being too hasty. But, Gabriel took the letter out of Sam’s hand as he came back out of the apartment carrying Cas’s weekend bag.

“Hang on Gabriel actually that letter….” Sam called after the honey blonde as he got into the elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor.

“It’s fine I’ll give it to him.”

Sam slammed his fist on the lift doors when they closed before he could get to Gabriel. He ran down the stairs, but Gabriel’s car, Cas riding shotgun, had already pulled away.

……………………………

“You think Dean is cheating on you.” Gabriel repeated suddenly, resisting the urge to bang his head on the steering wheel. Why on Earth would his little brother think that? Those two were inseparable, a match made in heaven if you asked Gabriel.

“Yes.” Cas sniffled. “I rang the office up one day to talk to Dean… when I found out I had the flu which well, wasn’t flu as we now know…”

“I’m going to wring that Doctor’s neck, the incompetent…”

“Gabriel please.” Cas begged.

“Ok, I’m sorry bro, I really am. Carry on.”

Cas took a breath and then did so. “I rang up and they said he wasn’t there. That he wasn’t supposed to be working. Actually, they said that for a while now he’s been able to work regular hours, but most nights he doesn’t come home, and I never see him. I have no idea what he has been doing for weeks. When he does come home at night, he’s usually gone before I wake up and he slept as far away from me as he could. He’s never been like that, he’s usually a really clingy sleeper. He used to wake me up with a kiss every morning or sometimes…”

“Ok TMI.” Gabriel interrupted. “Keep it PG please.”

Cas blushed before he continued. “He finally told me he could work regular hours when I came home from hospital. Told me, that I could quit at the gas and sip and He even asked me to dinner this weekend. It made me think that maybe I was wrong, maybe he did still love me, but then he got mad at me when I said I had DOD training this weekend and left. He didn’t come home again after that. He must be with him… or her. Probably her.”

“You are coming home with me after this weekend.” Gabriel said firmly. He could barely believe what he was hearing, but Cas was right. Dean lying to him, not coming home at night… the asshole wasn’t even being subtle. “I am going to tear that piece of shit a new one.”

“Gabriel please… I don’t know for sure he’s cheating and even if I’m right I still love him. Even if he doesn’t love me back, I will always love him.”

“Cas, you mean you would live with him, even knowing he’s cheating on you?” Gabriel asked astounded.

“Yes, I would. We made our vows Gabe, on our Wedding day. Even if he hasn’t honoured them, I will.”

“Castiel…” Gabriel sighed and decided not too for now. He didn’t want to stress out his brother, not when he was about to have his first chemo and possibly surgery in the next few days.

“Sam was there when I picked up your bag. He gave me this, to give to you, from Dean.” Gabriel said with trepidation. After hearing Cas’ story, he had no idea what could be in that envelope. He just hoped whatever it was it would confirm things either way and stopped the worry.

Cas grasped the letter nervously. Opening it slowly and reading it twice before putting it away again. His face was blank and his shoulders sagged, a tear tracked down his cheek.

“What? What is it?” Gabriel asked worriedly.

“Can I come stay with you please.” Cas asked, voice breaking.

“Of course, Cassie, what is it? What did it say?”

“It’s... Dean’s filed for divorce. He’s divorcing me.”

**…………………………………………….**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I know. The boys are being so damn stupid right now, but don't worry. This story will have a happy ending.


	10. Chapter 10

_Two weeks later._

“I thought chemo was meant to make your hair fall out.”

Cas stepped out of the bathroom of the luxury apartment in Atlanta his brother had rented. He was only wearing a white bath robe and gently rubbing a towel through his messy wet hair.

“Apparently not always. It is getting a lot thinner though, especially at this side.” Cas carefully combed his fingers through the hair on the left side of his head.

“Well I’m really glad it hasn’t, you deserve a win. Besides I love your sex hair.” Gabriel grinned rubbing his brother’s shoulders.

Cas’ face fell.

“What, what did I say?” Gabriel asked concerned.

“Nothing. It’s just… That’s what Dean calls it.”

“Oh Cas. I’m sorry, I know you love him but he’s a dick and you deserve so much better.”

Cas didn’t answer, he didn’t want to think about Dean but he had been the one thing on his mind since this whole thing started. Every fibre of his body hurt with the thought that Dean didn’t love him anymore. He wondered what it was he’d done wrong, or maybe it was just everything he did that was wrong. Maybe Dean had just found someone better than him. Either way his soul mate didn’t feel the same way and Cas was so very alone again.

He wouldn’t have even bothered fighting this disease if it wasn’t for his sweet toothed, dirty minded older brother. He knew how much Gabriel cared about family. When Lucifer and Dad had started fighting and then Lucifer and Michael, and then Raphael started bullying Cas, Gabriel had just left. Cas had been mad at first, but he knew Gabe couldn’t bear to watch his family tearing themselves apart, he loved them too much. If Cas died, it would kill Gabriel. He knew that. He had to survive this for his brother, even if he didn’t want to live without Dean.

“Cas, what do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Castiel, the doctors are really worried about you. You’re still losing weight, you need your strength if you are going to beat this.”

“Every time I eat I just throw it up again and I’m sick of it.”

“I know brother. But will you at least try some soup?”

“Ok.”

“Thank you. And you will you stop trying to hide your bloody tissues in the trash, the doctor told me you were coughing up blood.”

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Well Cassie, breaking news I am worried. And I’m going to be worried until you’re better. So, stop worrying about me, worrying about you. Neither of us need the stress.”

“Ok.”

“Put your oxygen back in please.” And then jerked himself, realising how much like their mother he sounded.

“When am I on dialysis again?”

“2 hours.” Gabriel said, checking the countdown on his phone.

“I’ve never seen you so organised.” Cas chuckled slipping the tubes of his nasal cannula over his ears. He had to admit the extra oxygen made him feel better. The chemo had made his red blood cell count drop and as a result, his blood oxygen was rather low.

“Yeah well, you better get well soon, because being this organised is definitely killing me.”

“That shouldn’t be funny, but it is.”

“Yeah, well I’m always funny. That’s my talent.”

“I’m just glad having cancer gives me immunity to your pranks.”

“Yeah I am desperate to pull a good prank right now. Do you want to tell anyone yet Cas? Balthazar maybe?”

“Yeah. It would be nice to see him. Let me make the call, it will come better from me.”

“What about Charlie and Kevin?”

“I want to, but I don’t want Dean to find out.”

They didn’t say anything else as they ate in silence. Cas made the phone call to his best friend, it had been emotional and now he on the next flight to Atlanta. Then looked at Dean’s name in the contacts list. He had to let the love of his life go if he was going to move on. He deleted the number.

There was no more Dean Winchester in his contacts.

…………………………………………..

“Dean, I’m back.” Sam walked into the apartment. Eileen would still be at work, but Dean should be back by now.

“Dean?”

“Through here.”

Sam took one look at his brother’s face and knew something was wrong. He was staring intently at a letter in front of him.

“What’s that?”

“Cas has agreed to the divorce. No fight. He hasn’t even called, or texted.”

“Sounds like an admission of guilt.” Sam furrowed his brow. When he’d seen Gabriel at the apartment he’d been certain there was more to his. But apparently Cas had resigned at the DOD, all his stuff was gone from the apartment and he was living was his brother in Atlanta. It all seemed pretty clear cut. Cas had upped and left, probably to be with his new man, leaving Dean to suffer alone.

“Gabriel has hired Bella Talbot as Cas’ lawyer.”

“Damn!” Sam inhaled sharply.

“Damn?” Deans face creased in concern.

“She’s good Dean, really good.”

“But you’re better right?”

“Ermm… I can give her a run for her money, but she’s a specialist divorce lawyer Dean. One of the best.”

“You’re one of the best in family law though.”

“Yes, I don’t really deal with divorce, I’m inexperienced. I tend to handle domestic abuse and custody battles.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’ll happily go into battle for you Dean, you know I would. Every time. I will always have your back.”

“But…”

“But, the fact that they’ve hired Bela tells me that they’re going to be putting up a fight. You have some serious assets between you Dean.”

“The garage.”

“Yes. It’s going to be a complicated settlement.”

“You’re saying I could lose the garage.”

“It’s under your name, but we both know how much money Castiel put into that place and the fact is, he has paid most of the mortgage payments. You might be forced to sell the business and split the money.”

Dean crumpled up the letter and through it at the wall with force.

“Dean.” Sam grabbed his brother before he started to punch the wall and did the usual damage to his knuckles in frustration. “I am so sorry Dean I really am. I still can’t believe that Cas cheated on you, I know how much you loved him.”

“I thought… I just thought this would be forever you know.”

“I know Dean, and so did I… I mean, you two were…”

“Don’t say it Sam. I can’t…” Dean choked and leant heavily into his brother’s shoulder. “It’s my own fault anyway. I should never have bought the damn garage. Everything was perfect before then.”

“None of this was your fault Dean.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

Sam sighed. “I will fight for you Dean, but I know people, good divorce lawyers who will crush Bela.”

“Yeah, but I can’t afford them Sam.”

“Yeah, well actually I know someone who owes me a big favour, so let’s not worry about that. We’ll sort this Dean.”

“Yeah I know. I’m sorry to crash on you and Eileen. Once the apartment contract is up at the end of the month I’ll find my own place.”

“You can stay as long as you need.” Dean opened his eyes to see Eileen had arrived home and had been reading his lips. “But if you leave your dirty socks on the table one more time I’m not cooking for you again.”

Dean chuckled, pulling away from his brother. “Ok, understood.”

………………………………

“Balthazar, nice and quietly please, he’s finally asleep.”

“Oh Christ, he looks…” Balthazar couldn’t finish that sentence. He looked like death. He was Cas’ best friend since they were kids, the one who’d convinced Cas to run away and start his own life. They’d lived together for years as roommates. Balthazar three years older looked after Cas while he was at Stanford. When Cas had met Dean, Balthazar had moved to LA, but the two had never grown apart.

“I know.” Gabriel whispered, sadly. His gaze drifting over his little brother laid on the sofa under a blanket, the dialysis machine whirring in the background.

“You got here fast.”

“Actually, I was in the area. You don’t want to know why.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Gabriel smirked. Balthazar was so wild he made the trickster look tame sometimes. Secretly he wondered if Castiel and Balthazar hadn’t been swapped at birth. It would make more sense if Gabriel and Balthazar were related.

“Do we know how it’s going?”

“He has another round of chemo tomorrow and then they are going to assess if surgery will be successful.”

“So, it’s both kidneys?”

“Yes, but only a little on one kidney, the other is fairly severe. They are looking to remove the bad one, and hopefully chemo will have taken care of the cancer in the good one.”

Gabriel’s phone started ringing and he checked the caller ID. “I have to take this.” Gabriel moved away a little. “Bella?”

“Mr. Novak…”

“Miss Talbot. It’s Gabriel, please.”

“Ok, Gabriel. Well they’ve set a court date to discuss the financial settlement. It’s on July 10th.”

“But that’s just a few weeks away. Can’t they postpone it?”

“I will try and negotiate Mr. Nov… Gabriel, but it is unlikely. I’m afraid they have hired a divorce lawyer who is quite the Shark. Have you heard of Mr. Crowley?”

“Oh hell.”

“Yes quite.”

“I need to know what your brother wants from this settlement, so I can start planning for the trial.”

“Well, I’m not sure to be honest. I’ll ask him when he’s a little better. If it was up to me I’d take that cheating arsehole for everything he was worth.”

“I can very much appreciate that Gabriel; however, I really must discuss this with the man himself.”

“I’m not sure I will allow that. The whole reason I am doing this on my brother’s behalf is that he cannot deal with the stress right now.”

“You mentioned you would talk to him when he was better. Is there something I should know regarding your brother’s health? It is a dirty tactic to use in court, but it can prove rather effective in gaining the judges sympathy.”

“No, God, No. Cas would be furious if you did that.”

“So, he is ill?”

“I’m telling you this only so you are aware of the situation, but my brother has cancer.”

“I’m so sorry Gabriel. You can count on my discretion, attorney-client’s brother privilege after all.”

“Thank you, Miss. Talbot. I will get back to you.”

Gabriel looked up after ending the call and was met by Balthazar’s quizzical face.

“What was that about?”

“That… Dean cheated on Cas and now they are getting divorced.”

“What? Divorced… my perfect couple?”

“Yes. Things really haven’t been good the last 6 months.”

“I’ll be damned and the asshole is divorcing Cas when he’s got bloody cancer.”

“He doesn’t know. Cas doesn’t want to tell him.”

“I’ll skin the filthy swine.”

“Get in line.”

“Guys will you stop it please.” Cas said wearily.

“I’m sorry Cassie. How are you feeling?”

“Shit. But it’s nice to see you Balthazar.”

“You look like shit Cassie.”

“Trust you to be frank.” Cas offered a small smile.

“Let’s get you to bed. Big day tomorrow.”

“Don’t remind me.”

…………………….

“Have you lined up what you want from this settlement Mr. Winchester?”

“Our main objective is to keep hold of the business and its assets. We don’t want it sold and the assets split.” Sam took over, knowing his brother hated this whole thing.

“A tall order, but achievable. Who are we up against?” The bearded man had a British accent, smooth as silk.

“Bela Talbot.”

“Hmm.” The British man considered.

“What is it? Is she a problem.”

“Well she’s good, but I’m Crowley.” The man grinned. “Let’s get down to it.”

…………………………….

July 8th.

After another heavy meeting with Crowley Dean just wanted to get away. Thinking about all of this, he just wanted his Cas back. He hovered his finger over the call button, knowing it was a bad idea, but maybe, just maybe they could work this all out.

He pressed the button.

“Hello Cas’ phone.”

Dean froze.

He knew that smarmy British voice. It was that douche Balthazar. Cas’ so called best friend. He’d always been convinced that guy had been trying to get into Cas’ pants. They were far too close to be just good friends.

He hung up and cried.

Balthazar. Cas had chosen Balthazar over him. He should have seen it coming from the moment they had met.

“Dean?”

Dean looked up at his brother and wiped his face.

“What…”

“We’re going on a road trip.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “Ermm... We are?”

“Yes, pack a bag we’re going now.”

Sam opened his mouth to protest, but changed his mind. If his brother was admitting he needed to get away, he wasn’t going to stop him.

“You know the trial is in two days, right?”

“Ok, so it’ll be a one-day road trip.”

“Sounds great, give me half an hour.”

………………………………………………

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise they will soon be moving towards resolving this in a chapter or 2 :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The road trip doesn't quite go according to plan...

“You’re puling over already?” Sam smiled wryly. Dean usually drove for hours, but they were pulling into the gas and sip not 15minutes from Sam’s house.

“We need gas, I forgot to fill her up. Might as well get some snacks too.”

While Dean filled up Baby, Sam gathered all of Dean’s usual junk food into a basket along with some slightly less fattening food for himself. He’d had made it to the checkout where there was a pretty red headed girl behind the counter by the time Dean made it inside. She started scanning the items and packing them into a carrier, while Dean inspected Sam’s choices with scrutiny.

“You get Pie?”

“Yes Dean, Pie’s already in the bag.”

The cashier looked up with a furrowed brow hearing the name.

“Good job Sammy.” Dean patted him on the back.

“It’s Sam.”

“I’m your brother _Sammy,_ I can call you whatever I want.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.

“Sam and Dean… Winchester?” The cashier asked tentatively.

“Yeah, we are, how do you know?” Sam asked with a wary smile.

“Ermm, you are Cas’ Husband, right?” She asked, turning to Dean.

Deans’ shoulders dropped instantly, his jaw tensing remarkably. “Yes.” Dean said gruffly. Technically that was still true and the girl clearly didn’t know what had happened so it didn’t make sense to take it out on her.

“Is he ok? I mean… none of us had heard from him since he collapsed on his shift. Did the Doctors tell you what’s wrong? I don’t mean to pry but we all miss him and…”

“Wait, he collapsed, here?” Dean asked, confused.

“Yeah, you didn’t know?” She asked in surprise. “His last shift here, he looked horrible all morning and then he just spaced out while this asshole customer was yelling at him and he collapsed. He wouldn’t wake up, I had to call an ambulance. Then a couple of days later his brother called and said he was seriously ill and had to resign.” She explained, wide eyed.

“Sam.” Dean turned to his brother, who was suddenly overcome with worry.

“Dean, go wait in the car.”

“But…”

“Go wait in the car.” Sam said firmly.

Dean reluctantly left the shop and Sam turned back to the young women. “Hi…”

“Anna.” She offered.

“Anna.” Sam smiled. “As you can see my brother and brother in law have been having some communication issues of late. Would you mind explaining to me what happened again in full?”

……………………………


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update day for you since chapter 11 was so short.   
> I hope this answers some questions.

“Come on pick up.” Sam growled into the receiver on his fifth attempt to contact Gabriel. It went to voicemail again. He’d had to take Dean straight home. The guy was a chuffing mess after hearing that Cas might be ill. Sam didn’t know whether to be mad or worried and he knew if he was feeling like this Dean must be in turmoil.

Something had smelt off about all of this from the very start and now Sam was determined to get to the bottom of it before their lives fell apart any more than they had already.

……………

Gabriel sat next to Balthazar in the waiting room rubbing his face in anguish.

“Gabe, go take a breather he’ll be in surgery for a few more hours yet. There’s nothing you can do here. I’ll call you if anything happens… which means I won’t be calling you, because everything is going to be fine.”

Gabriel sighed, but conceded. “Thanks, Balthy.”

“Nah ah, ah… Only Cassie gets to call me that.” He said playfully.

“Whatever.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. How Balthazar could be so cheerful even with this going on, he would never understand, and it was starting to great on him. As he stepped outside he breathed in the fresh air, but the worry didn’t melt away in the slightest. He turned on his phone for a distraction and groaned when he saw the 5 missed calls from none other than Sam Winchester. This couldn’t be good and he doubted strongly that he was supposed to be talking to him so close to the settlement healing.

Sam was ringing again. He knew the kid never gave up so decided it was best to answer and get it over with.

“Sam Winchester, what could you possibly want?”

“You need to come clean with me Gabe.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “What about?”

“What’s going on with Cas?”

“What’s going on with Cas is the love of his life, aka that scum of the earth brother of yours, is divorcing him.”

“You really have the nerve to call Dean scum when it was Cas that is cheating on him.”

“What the actual fuck are you talking about?” Gabriel spats.

“Don’t start that Gabriel. Dean overheard Cas on the phone planning a weekend away with a lover, he knows Cas lied about the DOD training weekend and Balthazar picked up Cas’ phone the other day. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”

“Cas is cheating… that’s rich. We both know Dean’s the one cheating.”

“Oh, is that what Cas told you? That’s low.” Sam expected better from Cas, he really did.

“What’s low is your brother not coming home most nights, saying he’s working late when he’s actually reduced his hours, then getting you to deliver the fucking divorce papers with no explanation. Cas was fucking heartbroken!”

“I didn’t call to argue about all of this Gabriel. We were at the Gas and sip that Cas used to work at and they told us he’d resigned because he was ‘seriously ill’. What is going on? Dean is worried sick. I’m worried sick because I’ve seen how much weight Cas had lost. I really don’t care what’s happened between him and Dean at this point, because at the end of the day Cas was… is our friend and we care about him.”

Gabriel sighed. This was awkward. “I can’t tell you Sam. Because Cas doesn’t want either of you to know and I promised.”

“What can you tell me?” Sam tried. ‘Damn lawyers’ Gabriel growled to himself, but he couldn’t deny he like Sam and he knew he cared about Cas, even if his brother was a douchebag.

“He _is_ ill. Very ill. But you already know that much.” Gabriel said with a sigh. “Me and Balthazar are looking after him. The DOD training weekend _was_ a lie, but it’s not in the way you and Dean think it was… I was taking him to a specialist. I’m pretty sure that phone call Dean heard, was Cas talking to me.”

There was a beat of silence on the end of the line. “So, this is all one big misunderstanding?” Sam asked, confused.

“What’s Dean’s excuse?” Gabriel spat back.

Sam fell silent for a minute. He realised he’d switched sides in this whole thing with a snap of his fingers. Only weeks ago, he was tearing his brother a new one for neglecting Cas and here he’d been defending Dean, neglecting Cas, _Again._

“I don’t know.” Sam answered honestly. “I knew he’d been working late, but I didn’t… Look, Gabe, let me talk to him, see if we can’t get this straightened up, because my brother adores Cas I know he wouldn’t be cheating on him.”

Gabriel thought for a minute. They only reason they’d both been certain Dean was cheating was that he’d served the divorce papers. If that had been because he thought Cas had been cheating… was this just the biggest cock up he’d ever witnessed?

“Will you talk to Cas, convince him to maybe talk to Dean?”

“No, I can’t stress him right now.” Gabriel said firmly. Sam’s heart dropped. This was bad, whatever Cas was going through, it was very bad.

“Right, well I’ll call you back when I’ve talked to Dean and made some sense of it all.” Sam offered.

“Yeah, ok.”

“Gabe, how are you holding up?”

Gabriel nearly snorted. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about me Sammich. Save your prayers for my brother.” He said as he hung up the phone.

…………………………………………..

“So, Cas isn’t cheating on me?”

“No Dean.”

“Then why didn’t he fight the divorce?”

“He thinks you were cheating on him. He thinks the reason you filed for divorce was because you didn’t want to be with him anymore, because you’d found someone else.”

Dean’s heart shattered. Into a thousand pieces. All of this, was for nothing. He’d hurt Castiel for nothing, because he’d been rash and jumped to conclusions. Why hadn’t he just asked him?

“Why would he think I was cheating on him?” Dean asked in disbelief.

“Well, according to Gabriel, Cas rang the office one day and Garth told him that you weren’t working that day. That you’d reduced your hours a while ago, but you hadn’t been coming home.”

“Oh God.” Dean gripped the bridge of his nose. He’s been such a selfish prick. “Running the business, it was really hard and I… I just missed being a mechanic. So when my hours dropped I started taking shifts at the garage as well, just because I missed it so much… Then I went out for drinks with the lads and sometimes it was so late, or I was so wasted that I crashed at Benny’s so I didn’t disturb Cas with getting in late and leaving early again. I didn’t tell Cas about any of this because I didn’t want to stress him out by telling him I really wasn’t enjoying being manager. We both put everything we had into this and I don’t even know if I want it anymore.”

Sam shook his head.

“You two are the biggest pair of idiots I have ever met. All of this because you didn’t talk to each other!” Sam thwacked Dean round the back of the head and his older brother didn’t protest.

“What is wrong with Cas, Sam. Did Gabriel tell you?”

“No. Gabriel said Cas doesn’t want you to find out. So, I imagine that means nobody else knows either.” Dean looked at Sam like a kicked Puppy as the Moose of a man stood up and got out his phone. “Right, let me call Gabriel and let’s see if I can’t sort out this crap.”

………………………………………


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its a bit of a filler, but I'd rather post something than wait to give you a super long chapter and this will take off some of the suspense.

His stomach ached. But he felt… better somehow. That feeling of sickness, the unbearable and constant nausea was gone, well, not gone, but it was like a weight had been lifted. He wearily forced his eyes to open, fighting against the cloud of sleep.

“Hey baby bro.” Gabriel. Cas offered a smile, God he was glad to hear his voice. “How you doing?”

“Eughhh.” Was all Cas could offer at this stage.

“Eloquent.”

“Shut up Balthy.” Cas chuckled, and he heard then both laughing back. “So, am I still dying?” Cas asked tiredly.

“I’ll go get the doc.” Balthazar said as Cas focused on his brothers face.

Cas looked a little worried. “Gabe?” Why did they need the doctor to tell him, what had they done, taken out the wrong kidney or something? Removed his leg by mistake? No, he still had both legs, he checked quickly, that was ok at least.

“No, everything’s ok baby bro, its just better you hear it from an expert rather than two idiots like us.”

“So, the surgery was a success?” Cas asked, tentatively.

“Yes. It seems that way.”

“Hello, Mr. Novak, nice to see you looking better.” Cas had gotten to know his doctor well over the past weeks of his treatment, but he’d never seen him smile so genuinely.

“I feel better.” As smiled back. Was something really going right for a change?

“Good.” The doctor smiled. “As planned we removed the worst affected kidney and the operation was a success. Scans have shown the Chemo is working, the cancer on your remaining kidney has shrunk significantly but we’re not there yet unfortunately. To save your other kidney we will have to continue chemo, but I’m very optimistic.”

“Really?”

“Yes Mr. Novak really.”

“So, when will the next course start, do we need to continue with dialysis?” The unusually organised Gabriel started firing off the questions.

“Yes, you will I’m afraid, in fact, it would be best to keep you in from this point. You will need a week or two to recover from the surgery before we start chemo, so until the kidney failure is reversed dialysis will be essential.”

“Would it not just be easier to do a transplant?” Gabriel asked. “Then he’d be straight back on his feet?”

“The list for transplants is very long. It could be years until we find a kidney for your brother and this treatment course, you are looking at 2 months in hospital, but the kidney is salvageable. You’ll be returning to a healthy, normal life if treatment is successful. Believe me saving you original kidney is much preferable than spending the rest of your life on antirejection drugs.”

“I understand thank you.” Castiel said before his brother could say any more.

The doctor nodded and left the room.

“Damn it I wanted to get you home.” Gabriel said, pushing a strand of hair back off his brother’s forehead fondly.

“I’ll be fine Gabriel. As the doctor said, its 2 months then I’ll have the rest of my life… or what’s left of it anyway.” Cas hung his head sadly.

“Cas…”

“I just… I know I have you and Zar, but Dean… he was my world Gabriel, I would do anything for him. I’d go back to him right now if he asked me to. I know you think I’m stupid for that, but you don’t know what its like, not being wanted, not being loved by the person you love most in the world.”

Gabriel sighed and brushed a tear from his brother’s cheek. “Now Cas, while you were in surgery… some stuff happened.”

“Stuff?” Cas frowned. “What do you mean stuff?”

“I’ll start from the beginning.”

“You told Dean, didn’t you?” Cas groaned.

“No.” Gabriel said hesitantly, it was technically true after all, but Cas wasn’t going to like his answer.

“Really?”

“No, I didn’t, I… eluded something was wrong to Sam, I didn’t tell him…”

“Gabe, that’s as good as telling Dean!”

“I didn’t tell him Cas and they’d already figured it half out, I had to fess up.”

Castiel sighed. “I suppose I better ring Charlie and Kevin. They’ll probably not want much to do with me after the divorce, they were always Dean’s friends not mine.”

“Hey Cassie, stop that.” Zar walked back in. “You know that’s not true, your friends love you. And regards that divorce, it might not be even happening.”

“Zar!” Gabriel protested.

“What do you mean?” Cas asked in confusion.

“Look, can I start from the beginning please?” Gabriel said a little annoyed.

“Please do brother.” Cas said darkly.

“Right….” Gabriel sighed.

……………………………….

“So, Dean thought I was cheating on him because of the phone call, they found out I was ill from my old job and Sam doesn’t think Dean was cheating on me?”

“Exactly.” Gabriel said.

“Then why did it take you 2 hours to tell the damn story?” Zar groaned.

“It’s a complicated situation.” Gabriel protested.

“I think Cassie’s summary proved it really wasn’t that complicated and certainly did not require such a long-winded explanation!”

“Guys please stop!”

“Sorry Cassie.”

“What I don’t get is that if Dean wasn’t cheating on me, why didn’t he come home for weeks? I still don’t understand, it still explains nothing.” Cas pulled at his thinning hair in frustration and Gabriel quickly guided his hand away.

“Sam was going to talk to Dean and ask him to explain, but Cas… I think its something you need to talk to him about face to face.”

“I… I’m not sure I want to see him.” Cas said sadly. “What if he was cheating on me, I… I don’t think I could take it, not on top of everything else.”

“Cassie, darling, you can’t live like this not knowing.” Zar said, wrapping his fingers around Cas’. “As much as I hope to God, this was all some big misunderstanding and my little power couple can get back to normal, even if it isn’t you need to know so when you’re better you can move on with your life.”

“I don’t know, I’m really tired can I just… please can we do this some other time?”

“Of course, Cas. I hadn’t intended to load it all on you in one go. We’ll just be outside if you want us.” Gabriel said, planting a kiss on Cas’ head gently. “Get some rest baby bro.”

“Yes, sleep well Cassie.”

……………………………………….

Gabe was on food run when his phone rang. If Cas had to stay in hospital for the foreseeable furture then he was sure as hell going to make sure his brother was well fed.

“Hello Moose, did you have your talk with Deano?”

“Yeah Gabriel I did. How’s Cas?”

“Doing better.”

“Thank God, your last call I was so worried…”

“I have talked to him, explained things, but I still haven’t had his permission to fill you in.”

“Yeah, no I get it that’s ok… Dean explained things to me.”

“And?” Gabriel asked.

“The pair of them are just the biggest idiots I have ever met. Long story short he wasn’t cheating either, just being a colossal moron.”

“Well, Cas will be happy to hear that, he really will.”

“So what do we do about this?”

“I think you and Dean should start driving.”

“To where?”            

“We’re in Atlanta. Dean and Cas need to sort this out between themselves. Hopefully I’ll have convinced him to talk to Dean by the time you get here, if not, well, ambush it is.”

“Are you sure he’s up to it? I don’t want to risk his health…”

“I never would Sam. He’s going to be ok, I think… it’s a long road but…”

“Thank God.” Sam could hear the emotion in Gabriel’s voice. He’d been through hell, Cas had been through hell and all of this was just the biggest mess up he’d ever heard of.

“God had nothing to do with it.” Gabriel scoffed.

“Touché.” Sam agreed. “See you in Atlanta then.”

……………………………..


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to keep you waiting on this... and sorry about the excessive amount of dialogue, but hopefully this is the point you've all been waiting for. Time for our boys to use their words.

Cas woke up from his slumber feeling somehow more tired than before. The surgery had been successful, the doctor was optimistic, but there was still this massive hole inside of him that could only be filled by one thing… one person.

“I don’t deserve you.” Cas startled when he realised he wasn’t alone. He startled again when he realised who was in the room.

“Dean?” Cas didn’t know what to think, what to feel. Half of him was overjoyed that Dean was here, the other half felt betrayed and scared and… then he looked at Dean’s face. The man was sat a few feet away from the bed in a chair, only half facing Cas. His posture was dejected, almost… ashamed and his eyes were red. Had Dean been crying? Why had Dean been crying? He hated to see Dean crying.

“Why did you marry me Cas?” Dean asked, voice quiet and raw. “How could someone as wonderful as you fall for such a colossal fuck up like me?” He said bitterly.

“Dean I don’t understand.” Cas said, struggling to sit up with the ache in his stomach and the cloud of sleep still hanging low over him.

“I’m sorry to jump you like this, I think our brother’s kind of set it up. I wouldn’t have come if I’d had known they’d not told you I was coming.” Dean sighed. “I’ll go if you want me to.”

“Dean I love you more than I am capable of describing. I always felt like _you_ were the one who was too good for _me_ … I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but I understand you now know that your belief I was cheating on you was misplaced.”

“I know Cas, I know and I’m so sorry about the divorce papers.”

“I’m not going to lie and say that its Ok Dean. Getting that letter… it was crushing. I nearly gave up there and then and if it wasn’t for Gabriel I wouldn’t have even bothered getting treatment.”

“Cas…” Dean said, the heartbreak evident in his voice.

“Let me finish please. The fact that you ever thought I could have cheated on you, it hurts me Dean. You are my absolute world and I thought you knew me better than that. You’re right I didn’t want to see you, even after Gabriel told me this might all be some huge misunderstanding, but I… Gabriel was right. I thought if I heard it from you, that you had cheated on me, I wouldn’t be able to cope, but the not knowing is hurting me far more. I want to hear your side Dean, but before you start I need you to know that I can’t take you lying to me. I need the truth Dean, all of it, and if you did… If there was someone else then…” Cas sighed. “Then maybe there’s still a way we could go forward.”

Dean looked shocked and hurt in equal measure. “Cas, if were to tell you right now that I cheated on you, that I loved someone else, you would honestly consider staying with me?”

“Yes Dean.” Cas’ shoulders sank. “You may not feel the same way but I know that you’re it for me. There will never be anyone else.” He smiled sadly. “I said it to Gabriel in the car when I first suspected that you had found someone else, that I would stay with you regardless. We made vows and I could never break them.”

“Even if I had?” Dean said in disbelief.

“Yes Dean.”

“I don’t understand Cas, how…”

“Dean please, I just need to know now…” Cas begged, his voice breaking.

“I never cheated on you Cas.” Dean blurted out desperately, fresh tears pricking his eyes. “I could never… what you said about me being it for you, is exactly how I feel. You’re it for me too Cas. You’re all I want, you’re all I will ever want. I need you like I need air t breathe.”

“Then I don’t understand Dean, why haven’t I seen you for months, where have you been?” Cas asked, practically shaking with emotion, tears of relief streaming down his face.

“I feel horrible for saying this after everything we both sacrificed to make this work…”

“Make what work, the garage?” Cas asked incredulously.

“Yes, the garage.” Dean sighed. “I just, being the manager, it’s not what I thought it would be at all and… I hate it Cas. I hate the hours I hate the paperwork and the taxes and the dealing with customers. I missed the garage, I missed the cars, I missed Benny and the guys, so when I finished my shift and I was stressed and mad and in no fit state emotionally to come home to you I went down there, and I tinkered. Then maybe we’d go out for a few beers and it would get late and I didn’t want to come home tipsy and wake you up when I knew you were working so hard… so I stayed on Benny’s couch some nights, or just slept in the impala, or just stayed out.”

“Dean…” Cas closed his eyes and sighed, so many emotions flooded across his face and he buried his face in his hands. “Dean if you hate it you should have told me. I never want you to be unhappy Dean. I did all this, so you could be happy.”

“But we put everything into it Cas, all your savings, the mortgage… I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. You are smart, you are beautiful, you are kind and funny and endlessly generous. You put everything on the line for me again and again… you gave me my dream, everything I could ever want and couldn’t even be happy.”

“The money doesn’t matter Dean; the garage doesn’t matter. I of all people know that sometimes you think you know what you want, but when you get it, it wasn’t what you wanted at all. It doesn’t matter, money doesn’t matter Dean. Happiness is more important than anything. I am not disappointed in you for not being happy being a manager, its not who you are, and I can see that now. I’m only disappointed that you didn’t feel you could tell me and that you felt like pulling away was a better idea that talking to me.”

“I know Cas and I am so sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need to know if there is any way we can fix this?”

“There are so many ways we could fix this. We could sell to someone we trust, employ a manager and let you go back to being a mechanic…”

“Not the garage Cas, you said it, that doesn’t matter. I meant us. I lost you and I can’t live without you Cas, I need to know if there is a way we can fix us.”

“Dean, you never lost me. I was always yours. Always.” Cas held out his arms tentatively. “Come here husband.”

Dean didn’t even try to stop it. He climbed into Cas’ arms and let the tears flow until they were soaking Cas’ skin through his hospital gown. Cas just stroked his hair softly, shushing him gently and his own tears wetting the side of Dean’s face.

“How did we get into this mess.” He sniffled, once he’d started to bring himself together.

“I’m not sure. But I do know that only we could manage a fuck up of this scale.” Cas chuckled and then winced with a hiss as Dean squeezed him in a tight hug. Dean sprung back in an instant, muttering frantic apologies.

“Are you ok?” Dean asked frantically. “Did I hurt you, what did I…”

“Dean relax, just be a little mindful of the stitches.”

“Stitches… you’ve had surgery.”

“Yes yesterday. Gabriel didn’t tell you.”

“He said it was up to you to decided what I know.” Dean bit his lip. “Just please tell me you’re not dying, just please tell me that after all of this I’m not going to lose you again.” Dean begged, trembling.

“I… I can’t promise you that Dean, not yet.” Cas said sadly.

“What? Cas you’re dying?” Dean’s face turned a deathly shade of white. He had known things were bad, by the look on Gabriel and Balthazar’s faces, by the sunken eye sockets and masses of weight his husband had lost but he couldn’t be dying. He couldn’t

“I am not well Dean, but I don’t think I’m dying anymore.”

Dean breathed a shaky sigh of relief.

“But I can’t promise you that I will get better. Nothing is certain even at this stage, but the doctors, they are now optimistic.” Cas put his hand in Dean’s as his husband moved his chair closer to the bed. “I have kidney failure Dean, probably for months before the Cancer started.”

“Cancer?” Dean’s face paled again.

“Apparently renal failure runs in my family, and it can lead to renal cancer. Both my kidneys were affected, one severely. It progressed a lot before we caught it. I knew I was ill, but Sam took me to the doctor who just thought it was flu and prescribed me antivirals.”

“I’m going to kill that doctor.” Dean growled. “After I throttle myself everyday for the rest of entirety for not being tehre for you. I can’t believe Sam and Jess noticed before I did.”

“You’ll have to get in line Dean.” Cas chuckled. “I think that Doctor will be experiencing a similar fate to the man murdered on the orient express.” Dean chuckled at that. “And regards yourself, there is also a line forming to throttle you, but I won’t let them.”

“I deserve it.”

“Dean, I need for us to put this behind us, I can’t stand it when you are hurting and your capacity to blame and punish yourself is unprecedented. I’m going to say this once and I need you to accept it and believe it.” Cas said, forcing Dean to look hi in the eye. “I forgive you Dean and I want you to forgive yourself. We need to put these last few months behind us and move on. You need to move on Dean, because I need you right now. I really need you.”

“Ok Cas, I promise I’ll try, I really will. And I aint every leaving you alone again.”

“I do appreciate being able to use the bathroom in peace Dean.”

“Nope not leaving you. Even for that. You’ll have to get used to it.” Dean huffed, and Cas chuckled again.

They sat in silence for a moment just holding each other on the bed.

“So, the operation you had? It helped.”

“It helped a lot.” Cas smiled. “They took out the worst affected kidney and hopefully another course of chemo will clear up the one I have left and get rid of any that’s spread. But until that happens I will have to stay in hospital, I need regular dialysis until my kidney is healthy.”

“Do you need a kidney transplant? You can have mine, you can have both of mine.” Den said, getting up and moving close to his husband, warping him in strong arms.

“Dean you can’t survive with no kidneys.” Cas rolled his eyes. “And I can’t survive without you.” He said fondly.

“Well then you can share mine!” Dean smiled, rubbing his nose against Cas’ in an eskimo kiss.

“That is hardly practical.” Cas scoffed. “And medically impossible.”

“I’ll make it work.” Dean chuckled, pressing his lips against Cas’ tenderly and the moment they did it was like a fire ignited. It had been so long and there had been so much pain. Cas didn’t hesitate in opening his mouth for Dean and demanding entrance with his own tongue. Dean wanted to keep it gentle, he as worried about his fragile husband, but Cas clearly had no intention of this kiss being chaste. Dean opened his mouth willingly and ran his fingers up the back of Cas’ shoulders, massaging tight and tender muscles as Cas’ fingers roamed his chest and teased the hem of his shirt. Dean moaned when Cas nipped Dean’s lip with his teeth, which made Cas smile into the kiss.

It didn’t last for long. Dean pulled away when he felt Cas start struggling for air in his weakened state and thumbed his cheekbone fondly. Cas pressed another kiss to the tip of Dean’s nose and then turned his head to the door.

“Gabriel you can come in now.”

Dean blushed bright red and moved off Cas’ bed, to his husband’s fond chuckle as the honey blond stepped into the room, arms folded and wearing a frown.

“Thank God!” Gabriel huffed. “I thought you two were going to start going at it.” Gabriel sighed, stepping in from where Cas knew he’d been hovering just outside the door. His brother was the definition of overprotective and if Dean had put a foot wrong Cas knew Gabriel would have been in there like a flash to save his little brother.

“You two sorted yourselves out then?” Gabriel said seriously, with a raised eyebrow, despite the fact that he’d evidently heard the entire conversation.

“Yes.” Cas smiled rubbing his nose against Dean’s cheek with a smile, while Dean looked at Gabriel a little sheepishly.

“I’m still not happy with you Deano.” Gabriel growled a little.

“I know, and I deserve it.” Dean nodded solemnly, and Cas took his hand. “And if I have to spend the rest of my life earning the right to love your little brother I will.” He said, looking Gabriel in the eye.

“Damn right you will.” Gabriel nodded in respect, a little flash of forgiveness crossing his features. “Right, well time for you to get out lover boy, Cassie needs his rest and the doctors need to see him.”

………………………………………………………..


	15. Chapter 15

“Mr. Novak, it’s good to see you.”

Dean hated Doctors before all this. He hated them even more now. He hated hospitals, and doctor’s surgeries and medical speak. If they weren’t so damn good at saving people Dean would want to punch them all in the face.

“Just spit it out Doc, we’ve been in that waiting room for 3 hours and if you keep us waiting any longer, I’m going to have a damn heart attack!”

“Dean…” Cas protested next to him.

“I’m sorry Mr. Winchester, Castiel… I won’t keep you in suspense. Congratulations Castiel, you’re cancer free.”

“Really?” Cas said in disbelief.

It had been a long 12months, 3 of which he’d spent in the hospital. Since the day Dean had found him in the hospital it hadn’t been straight back to normal. Neither of them could forget what had happened, yes, it had been one huge misunderstanding, but the boat had been shaken and things like that don’t mend overnight.

They’d had to take things slowly, even more slowly considering Cas’ recovery. They’d kept him in the hospital for nearly a month until the cancer was under better control. Then it was home to Gabriel’s and Dean had only been able to visit for a while. The Chemo eventually did cause Cas to lose his hair, but it hardly seemed to bother him.

‘It’ll grow back.’ He had shrugged and Dean loved him all the more for it.

When he’d gone into a brief period of remission they’d gone back to dating until they settled back together as a couple. Dean was no longer managing the garage, it had nearly killed him to do it, but, well… Balthazar turned out to be a great manager and Dean could go back to being a great Mechanic. The business was thriving, Dean and Cas were happy again for the first time in forever, but of course it couldn’t last.

In February Cas had started throwing up, in his typical manner he’d passed it off as a stomach bug, until he couldn’t. Dean had rushed him straight to the hospital and the cancer was back, with a vengeance apparently. More Chemo, more hospital hours, more of his husband putting on a brave face…

“Yes really.” The smiling doctor broke Dean out of his thoughts.

“For how long this time.” Cas sighed.

“Hey, come one you’re usually the optimistic one.”

“And you’re usually the sceptic.” Cas huffed.

“You both know that remission is remission, it is no guarantee, but your remission 6 months ago was partial, this time I’m deeming it complete remission. There is no sign of your cancer have disappeared.”

“How long till we’ll know for certain?” Dean asked.

“We usually say 5 years and I know that seems a long time, but I wouldn’t lose anymore sleep. Go live your life Mr. Novak and don’t let cancer take up any more of your thoughts.”

“Thank you.” Cas smiled, putting his head on Dean’s shoulder happily and dean stroked his fingers through his still re-growing hair.

“Well I guess we’ve got some phone calls to make.” Dean smiled. “Thanks Doc.”

……………………………………

“Dean where are we going?” Cas asked looking out the window. They were headed in the complete opposite direction to the apartment they’d been renting the past few months since Cas had gotten the all clear and Cas was tired. After months of having his body attacked by poisonous chemicals, he still got tired quite easily, but it wasn’t so bad now.

But he was starting back at his job tommorow and he wanted to get an early night.

“Just a short detour. Promise you’ll get your early night, I know you’re tired.”

But half an hour later they were still driving, and it was dark outside. “Dean…”

“Promise we’re nearly home Cas.” As the Impala began to slow in a residential area.

“Dean, our apartment is 40 minutes from here… Is that Sam’s car?” He asked in confusion as they pulled into the driveway of a house Cas had never seen before.

“I’d have preferred to do this in the light but…”

“Dean what’s going on?” Cas asked, feeling a little uneasy, but then Dean just pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Welcome home Cas.”

“Home?” Cas stepped out the car when Dean opened the door and looked up at the house in confusion. There was a for sale sign with a big Sold sticker covering it. Did that mean. “Dean…”

“All ours Baby.” Dean smiled at the speechless Cas, suddenly grabbing him and sweeping him off his feet.

“Hey!” Cas protested.

“I’m going to carry over the threshold.”

“Dean this isn’t our wedding night.”

“I don’t care.”

“You’ll put your back out again.” Cas said with a raised eyebrow.

“Are you calling me old?” Dean huffed.

“No, I’m calling you disabled.”

“Hey!”

Dean stepped awkwardly through the door with Cas in his arms and then put him down with a grunt a little heavily.

“Your back?” Cas chuckled knowingly.

“Yep.” Dean winced.

“Well that was very romantic, thank you Dean.”

“Shuddup.” Dean chuckled. “Well, what do you think?”

Cas looked up at their new home in awe. It was, in a word, perfect. It had a little bit of both of them in the layout; the modern, airy, open plan that Cas loved with just enough rustic to make Dean feel at home.

“Its beautiful Dean… But how did all our furniture get here?”

“Had a bit of help.” Dean said with a smile as Sam and Eileen stepped into sight, Sam carrying a box in his arms.

“We wanted to throw you a surprise party, but since you’ve got work tommorow we’re going to have it at the weekend.” Eileen said with a smile.

“That would be great. Thank you both so much.” Cas smiled in awe.

“Not a problem.” She smiled.

“Well, here’s the final box… had to leave you something to do. We’ll leave you both to it. Happy new home Cas.” Sam smiled, pushing the box towards Dean.

“Give it to me, Mr. Romance put his back out again.” Cas rolled his eyes.

“Dean…” Sam scolded.

“I know, I know.” He huffed.

“Well, if you’re lucky someone might give you a massage to make it better.” Cas said with a wry smile, pressing a kiss to Dean’s lips, chests separated by the box Cas was holding. Dean hummed into Cas’ mouth and deepened the kiss.

“Ok leaving!” Sam held his hands up and the pair retreated quickly through the front door, closing it swiftly behind them.

“As nice as that massage sounds,” Dean said, breaking the kiss. “I had something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Hmm.” Cas mumbled uncertainly.

“I thought that maybe we could renew our vows.” Dean shrugged.

“I don’t want to do that Dean.” Cas said abruptly and Dean took a shocked step back.

“Ok…” He started, not wanting to jump to any conclusions, but worry curled in his stomach.

“I want to put this behind us Dean. We don’t need to renew our vows because neither of us broke them. We made mistakes, they’re in the past. I love you Dean and if there’s one thing this past year has taught me is that time is precious. Let’s not waste a second.”

“I can drink to that.” Dean smiled.

“Besides we both know you don’t do chick flick moments.” Cas smiled.

“I’d do chick flick moments for you.”

“I know.” Cas smiled. “And that’s all that matters to me.” I kind of have a surprise for you as well…”

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to talk to you about it first, since I knew what we agreed the first time.”

“Yeah?”

“If you wanted, I mean if we both wanted…”

“Cas, you can ask me anything?”

“I would like to change my name… to Winchester.”

“You would?” Dean said in shock.

“If that’s ok?” Cas asked tentatively.

“Castiel Winchester… that would be more than ok.” Dean said with finality.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

……………………………….

10 long years had passed, and a lot had changed. But a lot had stayed the same. Dean and Cas still lived in the house they’d bought in Washington. Dean’s business was thriving, Balthazar was still annoying, Cas still worked too hard, although Dean kept a much closer eye on things these days. There had been no sign of the cancer in 10 long years, so the Doctor’s had told Cas he was cured.

Gabriel had moved into the city to be closer to his baby brother. Sam and Eileen had started a family, just a few months ago she’d given birth to twins, a boy and a girl. Dean was over the moon to be an Uncle as well as a father… and yeah there was that.

Jack and Claire, a brother and sister orphaned in a house fire a few years ago, now lived with them. It had taken them a while to adjust, Claire especially, but they were both sweet kids and their family finally felt complete. Now Dean pretty much was a stay at home Dad, still dabbling at the garage every now and then. Cas only worked part time now, he loved his job and Dean knew he needed something to keep that big brain occupied, but he also wanted to be at home with his Husband and kids as much as possible. They didn’t need the money anyway, the business brought in enough for them to be comfortable, but that didn’t mean they took it for granted.

Don’t get me wrong, not everything was perfect, nothing ever is, but as far as life went for Dean and Cas, it didn’t get much better than this.

………………………..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that ending did it for you all. I hate writing endings... I'm rubbish at it, hence the time it took to get this out to you. But I hope this was worth the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> One line. One line in that review box makes any writers day. If you can just leave a quick comment. Pretty please?


End file.
